After returning back to Nashville after the Easter holiday, I find myself reflecting on the time spent with family. I hope you experienced something similar on Resurrection Sunday, engaging with loved ones that care for you dearly.
I love my family. Family is a blessing.
But how should the Christian approach his or her family? Just what, exactly, does the Bible say about family?
In short, the Scriptures give us two specific ways we should treat our families, and they aren’t always easy to follow.
Honor Your Family
The first way that the Christian should treat his family is to honor them. We are called to honor our family members with love and respect.
When the Ten Commandments were given in the wilderness, only one of them was given with a promise attached to it. In the Fifth Commandment, God told the Israelites: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12 ESV)
This command was not isolated to the Old Testament alone; it was also later reaffirmed in the writings of the New Testament. In Ephesians 6:1-3, the Apostle Paul draws this command forward into your life and mine. By reaffirming God’s words from Exodus, Paul was saying that the modern-day Christian is equally responsible with honoring their parents.
And yet, even as we affirm the importance of this doctrine, we also have to be honest that it is not always easy. Honoring your family can sometimes be difficult, because not everyone in your family will think just like you. There might even be family members—people that you have loved and lived with for your entire life—who do not place their faith in Jesus.
At its core, honoring your family is not about pretending that everything is right, it is about treating them with the dignity that our God calls us to.
Forsake Your Family
Jesus also introduced a second reality, and one that is far more confrontational in nature.
In Luke 14, Jesus says, “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.” (Luke 14:26 ESV)
At the first reading, that language feels almost impossible to reconcile with the command to honor. How can we honor our parents while hating them at the same time? Also, is Jesus actually calling us to hate our families?
What originally sounds like a stark contradiction is really just a statement of priorities. Jesus is not calling to a literal hatred of the people we love; rather, He is asking a question of relational pecking orders.
Who do you love most in this world? Is it Jesus, or is it your family?
That is the question that Jesus presented, and the question that only you can answer.
Holding the Tension
So where does that leave us? How can we follow God’s plan for familial relationships?
We are called to hold two truths in tension: we are called to honor our family with depth and sincerity, and to follow Jesus fully without putting family first.
While those two commands are not at all in conflict, they can create tension when relating to families.
Because our families matter deeply.
But Jesus Christ matters the most.
Blessings,
