My experience with friends has felt like a rollercoaster.
I am not talking about specific individuals—not the Joe’s, Jack’s, and John’s of the world—but rather, the very idea of friendship. What I’ve wanted from friendships has changed over time.
When I played professional baseball, my life and friendships felt very transactional. My teammates were awesome to be around, representing countries like the United States, the Dominican Republic, Venezuela, Mexico, Colombia, and more. They were truly remarkable people and teammates.
I had friendships that were authentic and meaningful, and yet, any one of those friends could be gone in a second.
They could be cut.
They could be traded to the Yankees.
They could be promoted to the Big Leagues.
In that world, my friendships with teammates didn’t feel very sticky. My friends left me, and they did so often. Underneath it all, a subtle lie began to creep in:
Your friends will not stay.
Baked into that lie was a thought that said, “If friends will not stay, then maybe I don’t need them. I’ll just focus on my career, my relationship, or someone else who will stay.”
As time has gone on, I have now come to recognize the error in my thinking, and the true beauty and blessing of friendship. Let’s talk about two of those blessings now.
The First Blessing: Companionship
The first blessing of friendship is companionship. This one should be obvious. Life wasn’t meant to be navigated alone. Friends are there to round out every experience—the joys, the struggles, the ordinary and the extraordinary. They make life richer, fuller, and better.
There’s also an eternal dimension to friendship as well.
Scripture reminds us that in heaven, we won’t be married as we are now (Matthew 22:30). In eternity, we will be like the angels, like brothers and sisters—or in other words, like friends.
The friendships we cultivate here, on Earth, are a foretaste of the life we will share in heaven. We will be resurrected, living in our physical primes, forever, walking in friendship with God and others.
The Second Blessing: Speaking Hard Truths
The second blessing of friendship might somewhat surprise you. A true friend is able to share the hard truth.
Proverbs 27:6 says, “The wounds of a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
A true friend can say something that hurts us—something we may not want to hear—but we can know that it comes from a place of love. An enemy, or someone who doesn’t care, will flatter us endlessly and “kiss our rear ends”.
If you think about a famous person whose life went sideways, oftentimes, that person likely lacked friends who would speak the hard truth. When you are surrounded by “yes men,” you have very few friends to help keep you on track.
Sometimes, the truths that friends share can be hard to hear. We sit there, absorbing each word, thinking to ourselves, “Ouch. I can’t believe they said that. That stings.”
And yet, because we know that this friend truly cares, their words carry weight in our hearts. A good friend can guide, correct, and even save us from ourselves.
I’ve been on both sides of these difficult conversations. I have delivered hard truths and received them as well. Both are humbling experiences. And both underscore the depth of true friendship: it’s love that dares to speak, even when it hurts.
The Courage to Love
Take a moment this week to think about your friends. Do they love you as companions? Do they love you enough to share the hard truth?
Once you think of a few close friends, send them a message, an email, a text, etc. Let your friends know you are grateful for them. Let them know their friendship matters to you.
Friendship provides us with a double blessing.
Have the courage and wisdom to seize it.
Blessings,
