Competition is a game you can never win. There will always be someone stronger, smarter, or faster than you. And yet, in one surprising place, the Bible actually invites us to compete with one another.
In Romans 12:10, the apostle Paul says, “Outdo one another in showing honor.”
That verse stopped me in my tracks. Outdo one another? Really? Paul, the great apostle, was telling us that there’s a competition worth entering—the competition of honor.
An Unexpected Phone Call
Just the other day, I had an experience that drove this point home for me. I was preparing for a speaking event when the organizer reached out to me, asking if I could connect for a call.
The conversation that followed was the kindest exchange I had all week.
She had to share a piece of unwelcome news—something that shifted our original plans—but instead of sending a quick email (which would have saved her time), she picked up the phone and called me.
“Bob,” she said, “I didn’t want to tell you this over email. I wanted you to hear the tone of my voice, just to make sure that we were okay.”
I felt incredibly honored in that moment. This event planner decided to go the extra mile, not because it was convenient for her, but because she wanted to care for me. That simple choice turned an inconvenience into an act of brotherhood, but that honor is not always extended in all walks of life.
The Anti-Honor of Ghosting
As I conducted research for my book, Single-Minded, I interviewed dozens of single Christians about their dating experiences. Again and again, the same frustration surfaced:
They were pained by somebody ghosting.
Ghosting is an act of anti-honor. It says, “This conversation would make me, the ghoster, uncomfortable, so I’ll just avoid it altogether.” It reduces the other person to an inconvenience, rather than honoring them as someone made in the image of God.
What would it look like for us to flip the script? What if we actually picked up the phone and pushed through the discomfort? Not because it is easy, but because the other person is deserving of honor.
That’s what Paul was talking about, and that’s what Jesus modeled.
Think about it. Jesus had every right to remain in heaven, yet He chose the harder road. As it says in Mark 10:45, “The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”
If the King of kings would stoop to serve, how much more should we be willing to go out of our way to show honor?
Now, It’s Your Turn
This week, look for one opportunity to outdo someone in honor. It could be a friend. A coworker. A family member. Maybe even a stranger!
Go the extra mile. Make the call. Have an uncomfortable conversation. Say the kind word.
You never know—the simplest act of honor might just change someone’s day.
Blessings,
